It's hard to imagine what your life would have turned out to be if you had had it your way. Because when you compare what you were and where you've been to what you've become and where you are now it's hard to handle that huge schism, especially when what you were was a far cry from what you've become and deciding whether your glass is half empty or half full could drive you to madness. I know because that crossroad has come full circle and I find myself in the midst of a bottomless pit or the pinnacle of a new beginning...depending how I decide to view my circumstances. I have yet to make a conclusion, but I find myself leaning more towards the pinnacle of my life and these emotions as a result of my reminiscence of my past life that has long left me yet still remains ever present in my soul.
One decision in my life has become certain and, somewhat, intriguing; after many years I've be able to convince my husband that it is time for a memoir in his honor, and I'm just the person to accomplish this task. He and I share a past without ever having know each other, which is why we're able to connect and love as much as we do. As far back as I can remember I've talked and bragged about becoming an author and writing a book. I didn't know why or what type of book...just a book about something. That's probably why most of my peers thought I was delusional because I could never explain exactly what I had in mind...'til now. For those who know my husband, Christopher Scott Keithly, he's lived a life most could not or WOULD not fathom. By the grace of God he's prevailed over his circumstance and, now, still lives to tell about his experiences. For those who do not know my husband...well, you'll just have to wait for the book.
So many things are happening all at once it's hard to keep my stomach in check. The constant swirling of my head keeps me in a perpetual world of dizziness. Feeling excited most days for the changes that are coming and, yet, an ever constant sense of caution of fear from the unknown. Yet God, in all His wonderment, has a way of calming the spirit...I call this His grace and mercy. So I'm going to enjoy the ride while and I can and see what develops.
Well, I'm off to market to buy a fat pig (or in my case, a good set of working tools: pencils, pens, pads and plenty of boxes of tissue). Keep in touch. Wouldn't want anyone to miss out on all the fun that I promise to bring to the party!
Should anyone have any input to share to my enterprise look for me in the deep recesses of the darkest part of your minds there you shall find me lost in my own state of Delphian.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
If you say so...then I can.
Glory be to God and his mercies, Amen! This week has evolved itself into something bearable with somewhat of anticipation for the days forthcoming. Unsure if it's because of the Spring blossoms just cresting over the horizon, my new energy surge from my work-out regiments, or my loss of troubles after decidedly giving them over with full disclosure to God.
Don't get me wrong, so many things are still WRONG; but, since putting complete faith, like none I've ever known before, into God's hands the sense of peace and calm are extraordinary. In these last weeks I've had to deal with some issues with my teenagers that wasn't very pleasant, hard as a matter of fact! But we got through it and survived. God said I would; so if He said so then I knew I could.
My work-out regiment consists of my stepper, light to moderate jog/walking at least 1.5-2 miles, and my continued and increasing hikes (except for my hikes, I find most exercise boring so it's an effort for me, to say the least). My weight goal is -50 lbs. It's a real chore to will myself to be so dedicated. During the week I'm occupied with the children and the desire to crawl back into my bed after playing chauffeur, and the weekends...well, if we're not planning any 'outing' of sorts, then the hubby and I enjoy sleeping in and just cuddling together. Whether we do this in bed or on the couch watching and glued to the tube we SO enjoy just hanging with eachother and our weekends are our only real time to take advantage. Especially since, for so long, I worked the weekends and we had almost ZERO time with eachother. Now we take advantage, and so we're like teenagers ourselves again and doing it like rabbits! Is that right, 'doing it like rabbits'? Where did that phrase come from, I wonder...
Our 9 year anniversary is just around the corner and I'm planning a special surprise for my love. He's such the adventurous type so I expect to be throwing him out of a plane in the next few weeks, HA, HA, HA!! Tandem skydiving, that's the ticket! I think he'll get such a kick outta that, fo' sho! Now, he'll be able to check that off his 'Bucket List'. Even though he can be barbaric, shrewd and coarse at times his better qualities do shine through every now and again. It's because I hold those qualities in a higher regard I can suffer the lesser ones with a pinch of salt for taste.
Now back to me. If all goes well my prayers include a chance to return to school and continue my education into a different path of study. Since law school appears to be too far out in the horizon I've set my sights for something more socially satisfying, like the health care field. There will always be a need for doctors, but a nurse can be just as promising and sometimes even more welcomed. All in God's time and in His direction. Can I get an 'AMEN'?!
The kids continue to excel and my life continues to progess, whether I like it or not. Each day brings more anticipation of what that day will hold for me, and now that I have my Armor of God complete and fitted perfectly...I'm looking forward to them.
So bring it...on (ahhhh)
Don't get me wrong, so many things are still WRONG; but, since putting complete faith, like none I've ever known before, into God's hands the sense of peace and calm are extraordinary. In these last weeks I've had to deal with some issues with my teenagers that wasn't very pleasant, hard as a matter of fact! But we got through it and survived. God said I would; so if He said so then I knew I could.
My work-out regiment consists of my stepper, light to moderate jog/walking at least 1.5-2 miles, and my continued and increasing hikes (except for my hikes, I find most exercise boring so it's an effort for me, to say the least). My weight goal is -50 lbs. It's a real chore to will myself to be so dedicated. During the week I'm occupied with the children and the desire to crawl back into my bed after playing chauffeur, and the weekends...well, if we're not planning any 'outing' of sorts, then the hubby and I enjoy sleeping in and just cuddling together. Whether we do this in bed or on the couch watching and glued to the tube we SO enjoy just hanging with eachother and our weekends are our only real time to take advantage. Especially since, for so long, I worked the weekends and we had almost ZERO time with eachother. Now we take advantage, and so we're like teenagers ourselves again and doing it like rabbits! Is that right, 'doing it like rabbits'? Where did that phrase come from, I wonder...
Our 9 year anniversary is just around the corner and I'm planning a special surprise for my love. He's such the adventurous type so I expect to be throwing him out of a plane in the next few weeks, HA, HA, HA!! Tandem skydiving, that's the ticket! I think he'll get such a kick outta that, fo' sho! Now, he'll be able to check that off his 'Bucket List'. Even though he can be barbaric, shrewd and coarse at times his better qualities do shine through every now and again. It's because I hold those qualities in a higher regard I can suffer the lesser ones with a pinch of salt for taste.
Now back to me. If all goes well my prayers include a chance to return to school and continue my education into a different path of study. Since law school appears to be too far out in the horizon I've set my sights for something more socially satisfying, like the health care field. There will always be a need for doctors, but a nurse can be just as promising and sometimes even more welcomed. All in God's time and in His direction. Can I get an 'AMEN'?!
The kids continue to excel and my life continues to progess, whether I like it or not. Each day brings more anticipation of what that day will hold for me, and now that I have my Armor of God complete and fitted perfectly...I'm looking forward to them.
So bring it...on (ahhhh)
Thursday, January 6, 2011
A New Beginning
I find it so gratifying and frightening how life takes its up and down turns, it's a reminder to me that at your lowest point there's nowhere else to go but right back up. This is a new year and a time for some new beginnings. I haven't made any resolutions, as of yet, and don't have plans for any, either. What I have done is made myself some well deserved promises and commitments for better tomorrows.
I've started my tedious work out regiment, and have hopes of completing a goal of running a 5k. Yeah, sure, it may sound minuscule to some, but for this someone who never considered herself a runner; by far, it is or will be a great accomplished for my part.
More importantly, I'm dedicating more time to my prayer life. Although, I'm not a front row, church-going, bible-thumping member my faithfulness is unending, enduring, and challenging. I do hope to assimilate myself with a strong Christian church at some point, however I never felt that being a church member was necessary in order to be a God-fearing Christian soldier. I miss my old church.
Tomorrow night the Mister and I have plans to attend his company's annual Holiday party. Yes, they always plan it after Christmas that way they have a higher 'turn-out' rate; more people willing and able to attend. The party is themed, as it is every year and so much fun! The food is awesome and the party favors and give-aways are like none I've ever encountered at any other company 'Shin-Dig'. I'm so looking forward to tomorrow night's Hawaiian Luau!! As for this weekend we have a day hike planned and I can't wait!! It's been a long time since our last hike due to this Winter Wonderland In The Desert that has come upon us. You can never tell when you could get hit by a desert flash-flood! But the weather this week has held up and looks good for the coming days. The views of Big Bear and Idyllwild from our backyard hills are breathtaking and that's what I'm waiting to see. If the views from the city streets are spectacular you can imagine what they're like from atop our MoVal hills. Or maybe you can't, so I'll post you some pictures.
The coming days, weeks...months are going to be monumentous, to say the least. We're expecting many drastic changes in our lives. I've been considering a new job that is very intriguing to me; however, it's some 400 miles away in Stockton, CA. The hubby won't even discuss it; 'cause, to him, there's no need for discussion. It's not even a consideration to him. To leave him behind and have me go away for miles is not even worthy of mention. He'd rather we stay where we are and struggle, than have me go off and risk complications within our relationship and family. Although, I agree with him in that respect I can't help but feel despondent for our situation. It is grave. But, in my husband and God, I have great faith and loyalty. It's been tested many times before, but somehow I've held steadfast and true.
Make no mistake, tho...times are changing and the seals have been broken. Take heed and change your mindset and look to the skies. Despite our situation I rise each day and bless it for in it I will find my children safe and sound, my husband busy at work, and myself energized by the goodness and mercies that He continues to bless me with, this undeserving servant, continually.
I wonder, tho...
I've started my tedious work out regiment, and have hopes of completing a goal of running a 5k. Yeah, sure, it may sound minuscule to some, but for this someone who never considered herself a runner; by far, it is or will be a great accomplished for my part.
More importantly, I'm dedicating more time to my prayer life. Although, I'm not a front row, church-going, bible-thumping member my faithfulness is unending, enduring, and challenging. I do hope to assimilate myself with a strong Christian church at some point, however I never felt that being a church member was necessary in order to be a God-fearing Christian soldier. I miss my old church.
Tomorrow night the Mister and I have plans to attend his company's annual Holiday party. Yes, they always plan it after Christmas that way they have a higher 'turn-out' rate; more people willing and able to attend. The party is themed, as it is every year and so much fun! The food is awesome and the party favors and give-aways are like none I've ever encountered at any other company 'Shin-Dig'. I'm so looking forward to tomorrow night's Hawaiian Luau!! As for this weekend we have a day hike planned and I can't wait!! It's been a long time since our last hike due to this Winter Wonderland In The Desert that has come upon us. You can never tell when you could get hit by a desert flash-flood! But the weather this week has held up and looks good for the coming days. The views of Big Bear and Idyllwild from our backyard hills are breathtaking and that's what I'm waiting to see. If the views from the city streets are spectacular you can imagine what they're like from atop our MoVal hills. Or maybe you can't, so I'll post you some pictures.
The coming days, weeks...months are going to be monumentous, to say the least. We're expecting many drastic changes in our lives. I've been considering a new job that is very intriguing to me; however, it's some 400 miles away in Stockton, CA. The hubby won't even discuss it; 'cause, to him, there's no need for discussion. It's not even a consideration to him. To leave him behind and have me go away for miles is not even worthy of mention. He'd rather we stay where we are and struggle, than have me go off and risk complications within our relationship and family. Although, I agree with him in that respect I can't help but feel despondent for our situation. It is grave. But, in my husband and God, I have great faith and loyalty. It's been tested many times before, but somehow I've held steadfast and true.
Make no mistake, tho...times are changing and the seals have been broken. Take heed and change your mindset and look to the skies. Despite our situation I rise each day and bless it for in it I will find my children safe and sound, my husband busy at work, and myself energized by the goodness and mercies that He continues to bless me with, this undeserving servant, continually.
I wonder, tho...
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